Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
