the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
