i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
