it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
