I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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