ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
