My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
