Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
