How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
