I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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