It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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