You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
