put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
