I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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