The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
