Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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