Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
