I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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