I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
