I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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