oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
