just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
