You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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