Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
