Kiss
Puke
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
