is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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