I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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