Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
