i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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