And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
