After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
