Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's just like the Real World with babies
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
