Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
