drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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