Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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