Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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