your thong is hanging out like whoa
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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