yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
