The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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