You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
