I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I need to calm my uterus...
I would fuck him just for his dog
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