im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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