..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
