I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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