he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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