one two three fourrrrnication!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
