Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
