I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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