I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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