I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
kristin has been a bad kristin
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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