I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize