You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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