A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
where are you?
Hypothermia
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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