what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
