This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
