Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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