I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
