hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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